Let me commend to you a new book by Kathleen Rehl, Moving Forward on Your Own: A Financial Guidebook for Widows. Kathleen, a fee-only financial planner, was my guest on my last teleconference. (See here for my brief summary of her comments.) I bought the book after the teleconference, and it’s a wonderful resource. A widow herself, Kathleen has put together a book which is both artistic and practical. Several sections of the book would be good for anyone, such as “What’s Your Money Style.” She says, “Ultimately, it’s not about the money. Rather, it’s about understanding your money and how you react so you recognize your natural inclinations toward spending, saving, giving, and investing, and what’s motivating those habits.” That’s something we all need to work on.

On Writing Well is a classic book on writing by William Zinsser. Jill Kelly, my writing coach, blogged about it last month here. I bought it for myself, and I highly recommend it for every pastor — for everyone, really. I’m about halfway through, and I see how much clutter and lack of clarity there is in my own writing — and I have an idea of how to improve. Clear writing is important for leaders, whether you are writing sermons, newsletter articles, blog posts or e-mails. Zinsser’s book will help you improve your writing and assess the writing of others. He’s also entertaining. The book has been in print for over 30 years, with good reason.

I just finished Charles M. Smith’s 1965 book How to Become a Bishop without Being Religious. It was good for many laughs and a few groans. It’s both a great satire and a window into another age of church life (he gives advice on what kind of wife to marry, for example). Dan Hotchkiss mentioned it in his book Ministry and Money: A Guide for Clergy and Their Friends as one of the few truly funny books about church life. It’s out of print but Amazon has some cheap used copies (I got mine from the library).

Have you ever read Homer’s The Iliad? My book group is reading it this month. I’ve wanted to read it my whole adult life, and I knew I couldn’t do it without a deadline. I met a man on a plane last fall who never travels with any other book — it’s all here, he said, human violence and struggle, all the themes that are still present today. He recommended Robert Fagles’ translation, and that’s the one we’re using.

So I’ve just started it, and it’s fantastic already. The language is amazing. The story is riveting. And truly, it really does make the challenges of church look easy. For one thing, while we may have questions about God sometimes, we’re not talking about the irrationality and capriciousness of the Greek gods as Homer depicts them. And church battles, while difficult, do not usually draw actual blood. The victor doesn’t steal someone’s woman (who was already considered the spoils of battle). It’s good to keep perspective.

What helps you keep your perspective on church?

Kirk Jones mentioned last week on the teleconference that he stops during the day for what he calls “peace pockets” at 11:00 and 2:00, where he takes a break and perhaps will listen to some music for a time. I’ve been using Phyllis Tickle’s Christmastide : Prayers for Advent through Epiphany. She includes prayers and readings for morning, mid-day, early evening and bedtime. As a Baptist, I find the discipline of written prayers to be valuable. It’s not something I grew up with. And stopping through the day is a real gift.

Yet I must say that I’ve been finding it harder as Advent wears on. The last couple of days I’ve gotten to bedtime and realized that I simply forgot the midday and early evening prayers. A couple of other days I’ve only had time to read the first line or two. But when I do remember and do take the time, it’s a wonderful experience.

Are you taking a break during these Advent days? What are you doing?

Join me this Thursday, December 3, at 9 Pacific/10 Mountain/11 Central/noon Eastern Time for a one hour conference call conversation with Kirk Byron Jones on the topic, “Are You Saying Your Prayers? Finding Spiritual Support for Your Leadership”

Kirk Byron Jones is currently pastor of First Baptist Church, Tewksbury, MA. An adjunct professor of ethics and preaching at Andover Newton Theological School, Dr. Jones serves as guest preacher and teacher at churches, schools and conferences throughout the United States.

Dr. Jones is the author of several best-selling books including: Rest in the Storm: Self-Care Strategies for Clergy and Other Caregivers, Addicted to Hurry: Spiritual Strategies for Slowing Down and Holy Play: The Joyful Adventure of Unleashing Your Divine Purpose. In 2009, Rest in the Storm was one of just forty books and films selected by Sojourners Magazine as “The Best Resources for Social Change.”

E-mail me at Margaret@margaretmarcuson.com with your interest, and I’ll send you call-in information. If you can’t make the call, a recording will be available.

This is one in a series of conversations with leaders on the subject of my new book, Leaders Who Last: Sustaining Yourself and Your Ministry, from Seabury (now available on Amazon).

I’ve gotten rid of a lot of books in recent years. Some books I know I will never read again. Others I know I will never read, period. But there are others I know I will never get rid of, that I keep going back to.

Here are some of them:
All of Edwin Friedman’s books
Wishful Thinking, by Frederick Buechner
The Violence of Love, by Archbishop Oscar Romero
Writing Down the Bones, by Natalie Goldberg
Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austen
Pilgrim at Tinker Creek, by Annie Dillard

What are your “must-keep” books?

I’m not talking about physical health, but emotional health. I’ve been reviewing Ron Richardson’s book, Becoming a Healthier Pastor, which I bought and read several years ago. I’m teaching an intensive course this week at Central Baptist Theological Seminary, and it’s one of the texts. The subtitle is: “Family Systems Theory and the Pastor’s Own Family.”

Richardson addresses the complexity of the ways our family story impacts our ministry, and suggests an approach that can shift the intensity. Here’s a sample quote: “When a pastor needs to have people get better or have situations resolved quickly, it often means an issue of competence is involved. If the pastor tries to move things along, becoming impatient with the slowness of others, then this could well be an unresolved issue from family. If the pastor is trying harder to get a good outcome than the ones who are more directly involved in the problem, the pastor has become a part of the problem.” I can only say, “ouch!”

Learning about the unseen forces from our family life that can drive us in ministry takes time. Richardson suggests engaging with members of our family of origin in ways that don’t try to fix or change them. I’d say that alone can begin to shift our overfunctioning approach to our ministry and lead to greater health.

Has the fall schedule crunch got you down? Let me recommend a new collection by Garrison Keillor, Life among the Lutherans. It’s a collection of essays about the Lutherans in Lake Wobegon that Keillor has written over the years. My cousin, Greg Collord, recommended them to me, and I’m grateful. They are hilarious, and not just for Lutherans. Plus, they are only five or six pages each. I read one a day for a month, and I laughed out loud at every one.

(This post is a repeat from two years ago, in preparation for the upcoming teleconference interview with Peter Steinke on leadership in a crisis. See below for more information.)

We’ve all experienced those crisis moments: the phone call comes, or you open the e-mail, and
disaster, small or large, has struck. What’s your first response in a crisis? Your first reaction
may be to panic. Your heart starts to pound. Your body is overtaken by anxiety. What should
you do now?

Here are five tips for handling a crisis. Tips one and two will help you respond better in the
moment the crisis breaks.

1. Focus on yourself first. Your own functioning is critical: you need to handle
yourself, not the crisis. Panic is contagious. But so is calm, and if you can keep your
own anxiety down, everyone will make better decisions.

2. Breathe. Oxygen literally helps your brain work better. When you feel your
heart start pounding, stop and take a few deep breaths.

Over time, keep focusing on your own functioning, and keep breathing. Some crises take some
time to resolve. The following tips will help you as you continue to respond.

3. Think. If you can reflect on the crisis rather than simply reacting to it, you’ll
be better able to manage yourself. Here are some questions to consider: Why now?
(Crises usually don’t come out of nowhere.) Who else besides me needs to share this
responsibility? What’s the worst that could happen, and how would I handle that?

4. Get thoughtful counsel. We often go looking for advice in a crisis, but choose
your advisers carefully. Look for those who can ask good questions, and offer a bit of a
challenge along with the necessary hand-holding. Spend time with people who are
calmer than you are.

5. Pray. Or meditate, or whatever works to help you get the bigger picture. And
there’s always a bigger picture. No crisis is ultimate. The story will always go on, and
when we can tap into a larger hope, we will lead better, especially in crisis.

Most crises are not as disastrous as the initial panic indicates. Even if the worst happens,
whatever that may be for you, this approach will continue to help you. But if you can keep your
head, and thoughtfully take steps to respond, often the turmoil will subside, and you can keep
moving forward toward your goals.

NEXT TELECONFERENCE: In 2009 I’m offering a series of conversations on the subject of my new book, Leaders Who Last: Sustaining Yourself and Your Ministry. Join me next Thursday, September 24, at 9 Pacific/10 Mountain/11 Central/noon Eastern Time, for a one hour conference call conversation with Peter Steinke, author of Congregational Leadership in Anxious Times on the topic, Leadership in a Crisis.

E-mail me at Margaret@margaretmarcuson.com with your interest, and I’ll send you call-in information. If you can’t make the call, a recording will be available. There is no charge for the teleconference or the recording.