Comments on: How Can We Disagree? http://margaretmarcuson.com/blog/?p=133 Tue, 31 Aug 2010 00:04:36 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Will or willfulness? | G.R.A.C.E. Writes http://margaretmarcuson.com/blog/?p=133&cpage=1#comment-357 Will or willfulness? | G.R.A.C.E. Writes Mon, 28 Jul 2008 22:47:39 +0000 http://margaretmarcuson.com/blog/?p=133#comment-357 [...] reader on Margaret Marcuson’s blog, The Leadership Circle blog, asked a good question that comes up every now and again. He asked about the difference between [...] [...] reader on Margaret Marcuson’s blog, The Leadership Circle blog, asked a good question that comes up every now and again. He asked about the difference between [...]

]]> By: Margaret Marcuson http://margaretmarcuson.com/blog/?p=133&cpage=1#comment-356 Margaret Marcuson Fri, 25 Jul 2008 20:13:24 +0000 http://margaretmarcuson.com/blog/?p=133#comment-356 Good question, Dwight! Yes, having a will is an essential part of having a self. I think we get willful when our efforts to convince others of our point of view cross the boundary of the self of others. Emotionally if not physically we are pointing our fingers into their faces trying to pressure them into agreeing with us. And rather than getting them to agree, our efforts stir up their natural defenses, and we can get the opposite result we want. Good question, Dwight! Yes, having a will is an essential part of having a self. I think we get willful when our efforts to convince others of our point of view cross the boundary of the self of others. Emotionally if not physically we are pointing our fingers into their faces trying to pressure them into agreeing with us. And rather than getting them to agree, our efforts stir up their natural defenses, and we can get the opposite result we want.

]]> By: Dwight Robarts http://margaretmarcuson.com/blog/?p=133&cpage=1#comment-355 Dwight Robarts Fri, 25 Jul 2008 15:38:58 +0000 http://margaretmarcuson.com/blog/?p=133#comment-355 Hi Margaret- Please define willful for me. What is the difference in having a will and being willful? Isn't having a will part of having a self? Hi Margaret- Please define willful for me. What is the difference in having a will and being willful? Isn’t having a will part of having a self?

]]> By: Margaret Marcuson http://margaretmarcuson.com/blog/?p=133&cpage=1#comment-354 Margaret Marcuson Thu, 24 Jul 2008 23:12:56 +0000 http://margaretmarcuson.com/blog/?p=133#comment-354 Thanks, Rebecca. This question of respecting those who don't respect the position of others is a challenging one. Willfulness goes both ways, and it can be hard to deal with those who are trying to will us into their point of view. Thanks, Rebecca. This question of respecting those who don’t respect the position of others is a challenging one. Willfulness goes both ways, and it can be hard to deal with those who are trying to will us into their point of view.

]]> By: Rebecca Maccini http://margaretmarcuson.com/blog/?p=133&cpage=1#comment-353 Rebecca Maccini Thu, 24 Jul 2008 14:35:35 +0000 http://margaretmarcuson.com/blog/?p=133#comment-353 I think this is one of the most challenging issues that I face as a pastor. In the lectionary a couple of weeks ago was the parable about the wheat and the tares, and I believe that this parable gets close to the question about the struggle to remain in community when we disagree. As a pastor, I wonder often what it means to remain in a church community when we have totally opposite opinions on the issues that we feel most strongly about: war, homosexuality, divorce, homelessness, the meaning of justice, economic issues. You ask a good question Margaret. It would behoove me to respect more fully the position of many people. I admit that I have not figured out a way to respect those who deny the position of others, especially those who want to deny the right and ability of people in the congregation to speak out as a group of congregants who protest against the war in Iraq, or support organizations in some of the poorest countries of the world. I think that Israel is correct about the willfullness. I work to ask myself often how much I want to 'will' the other to think the way I am thinking, and try to find another way than the 'willfull' way. I think willfullness is especially ineffective in preaching. I think this is one of the most challenging issues that I face as a pastor. In the lectionary a couple of weeks ago was the parable about the wheat and the tares, and I believe that this parable gets close to the question about the struggle to remain in community when we disagree. As a pastor, I wonder often what it means to remain in a church community when we have totally opposite opinions on the issues that we feel most strongly about: war, homosexuality, divorce, homelessness, the meaning of justice, economic issues.
You ask a good question Margaret. It would behoove me to respect more fully the position of many people. I admit that I have not figured out a way to respect those who deny the position of others, especially those who want to deny the right and ability of people in the congregation to speak out as a group of congregants who protest against the war in Iraq, or support organizations in some of the poorest countries of the world.
I think that Israel is correct about the willfullness. I work to ask myself often how much I want to ‘will’ the other to think the way I am thinking, and try to find another way than the ‘willfull’ way. I think willfullness is especially ineffective in preaching.

]]> By: Margaret Marcuson http://margaretmarcuson.com/blog/?p=133&cpage=1#comment-352 Margaret Marcuson Wed, 23 Jul 2008 19:35:10 +0000 http://margaretmarcuson.com/blog/?p=133#comment-352 Good thoughts, Israel. Paying attention to willfulness and the tendency to take it personally (starting, of course, with ourselves) will contribute mightily to making conversations about difficult issues more productive. Good thoughts, Israel. Paying attention to willfulness and the tendency to take it personally (starting, of course, with ourselves) will contribute mightily to making conversations about difficult issues more productive.

]]> By: Israel Galindo http://margaretmarcuson.com/blog/?p=133&cpage=1#comment-351 Israel Galindo Tue, 22 Jul 2008 21:44:09 +0000 http://margaretmarcuson.com/blog/?p=133#comment-351 A topic question of perennial interest, Margaret, thanks. One factor I always look for during discussions of disagreements is willfulness. I've found that to the extent willfulness is absent, dialogue can happen and people are able to disagree without feeling threatened of being invasive. Another danger is when in the course of dialogue, honest conversations, or discussion persons "take it personally." The tendency then, I notice, is to "make it personal." That tends to be a very reactive posture that seems to stem from issues of self. Don't ask me to explain what that's all about, my rule is, "Never question motives; observe function." And I must add that I so appreciate a small group of friends who can say up front, "I disagree" and so do responsibly with no fear that anyone is going to get their feelings hurt. I can count them on the fingers of one hand, though. A topic question of perennial interest, Margaret, thanks. One factor I always look for during discussions of disagreements is willfulness. I’ve found that to the extent willfulness is absent, dialogue can happen and people are able to disagree without feeling threatened of being invasive.

Another danger is when in the course of dialogue, honest conversations, or discussion persons “take it personally.” The tendency then, I notice, is to “make it personal.” That tends to be a very reactive posture that seems to stem from issues of self. Don’t ask me to explain what that’s all about, my rule is, “Never question motives; observe function.”

And I must add that I so appreciate a small group of friends who can say up front, “I disagree” and so do responsibly with no fear that anyone is going to get their feelings hurt. I can count them on the fingers of one hand, though.

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