Kirk Byron Jones, my teleconference guest this last month, has a wonderful free e-book on his website: Faithbook: 101 Short Inspiring Spiritual Insights. Here’s #33: “Take time each day to feed your soul with something other than obligation.” A good way to start the year would be to download his book and read one insight a day.

I hope all you wonderful church leaders have blessed Christmas Eve services, and a terrific rest afterwords. Thanks for all you.

Have you finished your shopping yet? Here are five gifts you can give your followers this Christmas and into 2010.

1. Your sense of humor. People know when you are taking things too seriously. Cultivate a light-hearted spirit, and you’ll be giving them a gift – not to mention gifting yourself. You don’t have to become a comedian. But if you can lighten up, you will find that life together will be easier.

2. Your best thinking. Become as thoughtful as possible about your leadership. People want to know what you think and where you’d like to head. They may not agree with your thoughts, and in some settings (like church), you may simply be starting a conversation. But you owe it to them to tell them how you see it. Work hard to figure out what you think, and say it out loud to your followers.

3. Space. Don’t crowd people. They need emotional space to choose to follow. Don’t micromanage staff, and don’t try to willfully impose your views on others. Give them the gift of breathing room. That doesn’t mean you wait forever or put up with anything. But it does require respecting others and their resources: “We’re all adults here.”

4. Your learning. Give people the gift of your curiosity, about them and about the world. Remember that you never know another person 100%, not even your spouse of many years. Continue to be open to new insights from them and about them. And be a learner about leadership, the world at large, God, and your avocation.

5. Yourself. Your deepest self is the most important gift you have to give. You don’t have to reveal all – boundaries are a critical part of leadership. But you need to truly be present with people. This matters in public presentations as well as one-on-one conversations. Leadership is about relationships. People know instinctively when you are fully present. Edwin Friedman used to say, “A self is more attractive than a no-self.” When you are fully in your own skin as a leader, you’ll enjoy it more, and others will find your leadership more compelling.

Leaders don’t give these gifts once and for all. If we truly intend to give them, we must pay attention all year long. If we do, we’ll receive as much as we give.

Kirk Jones mentioned last week on the teleconference that he stops during the day for what he calls “peace pockets” at 11:00 and 2:00, where he takes a break and perhaps will listen to some music for a time. I’ve been using Phyllis Tickle’s Christmastide : Prayers for Advent through Epiphany. She includes prayers and readings for morning, mid-day, early evening and bedtime. As a Baptist, I find the discipline of written prayers to be valuable. It’s not something I grew up with. And stopping through the day is a real gift.

Yet I must say that I’ve been finding it harder as Advent wears on. The last couple of days I’ve gotten to bedtime and realized that I simply forgot the midday and early evening prayers. A couple of other days I’ve only had time to read the first line or two. But when I do remember and do take the time, it’s a wonderful experience.

Are you taking a break during these Advent days? What are you doing?

I find plane flights the best way to catch up on my Christian Century reading. I was struck by Adam McHugh’s article in the Nov. 17, 2009 issue, “Can introverts lead?”. A couple of samples: “The long-term sustainability of an organization or a church cannot depend on the personality of the central leader, no matter how captivating or compelling that person is.” And this: “Character in a leader is the quality that has the ability not only to draw others but also to maintain their loyalty…The central component of character is authenticity. Someone with character acts in unison with his or her God-given nature.” This article is not just for introverts.

Kirk Byron Jones’ comments on yesterday’s teleconference about finding spiritual support for your ministry were uplifting and encouraging.

Here’s just a sample: “We must give ourselves more time to just be. We are addicted to distraction and busyness…This is about challenging some deeply held convictions about what it means to be human and to be in ministry. We do not work for acceptance but work from acceptance. We do not just receive the grace of God but revel in the grace of God and roll around in it. The scripture does not say, BE busy and know that I am God but the scripture says, BE still. If we can still ourselves with our perceptions, worries, rules and relax our spirits in the Spirit of a loving God who loves us just because, that is very enlivening. That is being for being sake. It tastes good because one’s identity is detached from productivity and productivity in a role. Each of us is a child of God and through each of us God is having a unique human experience. Spirituality becomes paying attention to my own humanness and what is going on around me….if we receive those gifts fully, the energy will be there when it comes to sermon preparation time. There is a circle of rest: resting in God leads to peace, peace leads to clarity and clarity leads to creativity. We do not really know what it means to be on until you know what it means to be off.”

Kirk’s website is kirkbjones.com.

The recording of the teleconference is available. E-mail me at Margaret@margaretmarcuson.com, and I’ll send you the link.

Join me this Thursday, December 3, at 9 Pacific/10 Mountain/11 Central/noon Eastern Time for a one hour conference call conversation with Kirk Byron Jones on the topic, “Are You Saying Your Prayers? Finding Spiritual Support for Your Leadership”

Kirk Byron Jones is currently pastor of First Baptist Church, Tewksbury, MA. An adjunct professor of ethics and preaching at Andover Newton Theological School, Dr. Jones serves as guest preacher and teacher at churches, schools and conferences throughout the United States.

Dr. Jones is the author of several best-selling books including: Rest in the Storm: Self-Care Strategies for Clergy and Other Caregivers, Addicted to Hurry: Spiritual Strategies for Slowing Down and Holy Play: The Joyful Adventure of Unleashing Your Divine Purpose. In 2009, Rest in the Storm was one of just forty books and films selected by Sojourners Magazine as “The Best Resources for Social Change.”

E-mail me at Margaret@margaretmarcuson.com with your interest, and I’ll send you call-in information. If you can’t make the call, a recording will be available.

This is one in a series of conversations with leaders on the subject of my new book, Leaders Who Last: Sustaining Yourself and Your Ministry, from Seabury (now available on Amazon).